Life

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~ mummyunbalanced ~ Leave a comment

I don’t really know what to say, except that I have something to say, but it’s just there, waiting. I thought that by just opening a new post and writing, well, anything would help bring whatever it is in my head, to the surface.

I’m constantly tired. I often fantasise about booking into a hotel just so I can have a bath and slip in to some clean sheets and relax and sleep, uninterrupted. As if. That idea is laughable.

1 week to Christmas, the presents are sorted, the wrapping is done. I’m just waiting. I don’t feel overly excited. In fact I don’t feel much of anything right now.

I’m always thinking, over-thinking, on top of my physical tiredness, my emotions are tired too. 

I desperately need a break. Life is a constant, neverending chore. Parenting, working, housework, laundry. My outlets are no longer outlets, because I haven’t the energy to actually do them. I’m averaging 5 hours of sleep a night. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. It’s often 5 hours interrupted sleep too. 

Truth be told I feel unappreciated.

I try so hard, to keep afloat, and to keep the house tidy, the washing washed, going to work and being a mother. I sometimes feel I’m doing it on my own.

A simple thank you wouldn’t go amiss, followed by, why don’t you have a nap.

I can but wish.

Freebird

~ mummyunbalanced ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t told anyone about this project. Not a soul. 

I haven’t shared it, so it probably doesn’t even have any readers. But that’s ok.

It’s quite freeing to know that I have this small place on the Internet, where I am completely anonymous and can write whatever I want without worry as to who will see it. It’s also so very challenging because I don’t want to give any seemingly personal information out, so I have to be smart with the prose.

It’s a peaceful morning, and I’m sat, drinking a coffee. Mr Husband is at work, and the Little Child has been dropped off to childcare. 

I feel incredibly light.

It’s an unusually good feeling.